So I'm not supposed to be hard on myself, right? Well, it's the truth.
I've been fat most of my life. According to the books, according to coaches. Ask anybody, they'll take one look & confirm, yup. She's fat. But it's ok.
Christmas 2008 I reached my high, I think. I saw the pictures from Christmas at my Grandma's and I nearly died. That was it. It was my turning point. So why am I still fat? Easy, I eat. More than I should. So if it's that easy, why can't I change it?
January 2009 I started kickboxing. I loved it. I felt stong, except my knees, they shook. I got abs (under the fat, I swear, they were there!). And I stuck with it. Until I needed surgery and my daughter needed more. So in October, I had to stop. I had my gallbladder removed and got my daughter some help. That took some time, so by the Christmas 2009 I was about where I was the year before.
I don't blame her, I don't blame the surgery. I don't even blame the fact that I don't have money to do kickboxing. Those things aren't the reason I'm fat. It's easy, I eat too much.
So. April 2010 I reached another turning point. A point of no return, if you will. I got my iPhone. One of my first apps was LoseIt! I've never been one to log food. I remember doing the Metabolic Research diet and I was supposed to log what I ate, which was supposed to be according to their very particular diet. I always seemed to find myself the last few minutes before I was to go to my weekly weigh-in scribbling in what-I-was-supposed-to-eat-and-might-have-but--- who knows. Not great, and I was paying them to do it, too! Sure, I lost weight but once I stopped drinking their shakes and eating according to their particular diet (boring/bland) I got fat. Again. Because I ate too much!! Now, backtotheapp.....
I tried logging with LoseIt! and since I never found myself without my iPhone, I seemed to be able to keep better track of my diet. And I lost weight! So I lost about 15 pounds and went on vacation. Ha!
Anyway, I'd been toying with the idea of running. For some reason, I think it would be really cool if I could run a 5K. I found this Couch to 5K program and thought about it. I have to admit, that was maybe even a couple years ago. I used to run track in junior high (isn't that when a lot of people really did things? in junior high?!) but my freshman year of high school I hurt my knee. Since the coaches thought I was faking it, ya know, cuz I was fat, I dropped out of athletics. But even in junior high I couldn't run distances. I was a sprinter. A fat sprinter, but hey! I was pretty quick! But then the knee thing happened, turned out, I tore my ACL. Finally got that fixed about 10 years later. Who knew?! Fat girl wasn't faking! Enough bitterness.
So, I downloaded some podcasts for the first couple weeks of C25K and tried to start. I was pretty upset because I couldn't do it! It hurt my knees, it hurt everything. I had to think about it. Finally it hit me. The whole premise of C25K is that you're supposed to work your way up to being able to run... well, maybe I was supposed to work my way up to starting to be able to work my way to running! Makes sense?
So that's what I did.
I walked to the first week's podcast for almost 2 full weeks before I tried running again. And please, let me explain, when I say running, I really mean jogging very slowly. (Like when I log it in LoseIt! I have to say that I'm walking about 4 miles per hour, they don't have a run that slow! But that's ok! To me it's still running.) Then, one Wednesday I tried Week 1 Day 1 again. And I did it! Friday I did it again! Then Monday, I did it the third time! I was thrilled! Sure, it's running for 30 seconds and walking for a minute. Not long. But enough that by Monday I felt really stong. Then on Wednesday, I did Week 2 Day 1. Run for 90 seconds and walk 2 minutes. And I did it! I didn't get my next run in until Saturday, but did it then and again on Monday. Today, I did Week 3 Day 1. Run 90 seconds, walk 90 seconds. Then run 3 minutes and walk 3 minutes. Twice! Woohoo! I was really nervous about doing it, afraid I'd feel like I'd have to stop but I didn't. I kept running!
More later, if I can walk tomorrow, that is.....
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